Racial Literacy, More Than Just Race: How gender influenced our racial story
Pictured: Erica Snowden, Senior Lion’s Story Trainer
by Shamm H. Petros, Senior Director of Learning and Development at Lion’s Story with contributions from Colleen Philbin and Erica Snowden, trainers at Lion’s Story
I knew I was a girl before I knew I was Black.
Born in Eritrea, months after a 30-year-long civil war, my first memory was of an attack on my gender. In a war defined by enemies that looked very similar to us, the bodies of children and women became weaponized. Before I could speak, I was shape-shifting my body and scrutinizing my thoughts in every space I entered. I wondered, “Am I in danger, or am I the danger?” It was apparent in my lack of play as a child and how I diminished my voice as an adult. This mental, physical, and emotional dialogue only intensified as I migrated from East Africa to a Black American community, where the weight of my race became acutely apparent.
The stereotypes about my gender, nationhood, and race rendered me simultaneously invisible and hypervisible. My survival and subsequent success required me to rewrite every false narrative about myself and help others do the same. As Senior Director of Learning & Development at Lion’s Story, an organization grounded on 35 years of research on the theory & practice of racial literacy by Dr. Howard C. Stevenson at the University of Pennsylvania, I have learned how to tell my racial story, and now I have guided thousands of others to tell their stories. Years of witnessing so many different people practicing to courageously tell their stories for the sake of their personal growth & professional responsibilities has taught me how racial literacy is more than about race.
Often, people assume that Lion’s Story's emphasis on processing and responding to racial stress in professional settings means we are only concerned about race. In truth, we start with race because racism is the United States’ origin story and remains a challenging societal injustice we can’t avoid. While our proximity to racial stress and oppression varies, we believe that everyone is impacted by race and therefore has a racial story that matters. Moreover, it is critical to process these narratives - whether we feel like we have caused harm, were harmed, or somewhere in between - if we ever hope to eradicate interpersonal or systemic racism.
Through the experience of our trainers and community members, we will highlight how learning racial literacy skills also protects our intersectional identities. In honor of Women’s History Month, we asked two seasoned Racial Literacy Trainers who identify as cis-gendered women to reflect on their gender identities related to developing their racial stories.
I was able to interview Colleen Philbin, a licensed clinical social worker and Lion’s Story Racial Literacy Trainer who identifies as a cis-gender White Woman, about her experience, “I could talk for days about my experience as a woman in a ‘man’s world,’ but I practically tripped over the word ‘White’ as a white woman” she shared with me. Colleen found herself encouraged to pursue professions associated with nurturing, where conversations about racial literacy were more prevalent, "Being a professional ‘helper’ without processing my White racial identity caused me to act as a White savior: thinking that racial literacy was for my students and families more than myself. "
Encountering unexpected reactions to her emotional expressions, particularly tears, in discussions about race was a turning point in her growth. Vulnerability, which can be helpful in storytelling, wasn’t discouraged in Colleen’s experience. Understanding that many societies are organized around the belief that white women and girls were inherently vulnerable and needed protection was unknown to her, “On my journey, I experienced big emotions, and then learned the difference between vulnerability and ‘White women's tears’. I learned how I burdened People of Color with my need for them to like me and feel I was committed. If I want society to stop organizing itself around the protection of White women like me, then one of the most powerful things I can do is stop acting like I need it.”
Mindful Processing Break: Does Colleen’s language sound familiar to you? Have you witnessed people responding to your emotions in a way that shocked you? What emotions came up for you then? What emotions are coming up for you now?
Colleen's commitment to the mindful observation of her physical and emotional reactions to racial stress, particularly crying, empowered her to engage in genuine dialogue with herself. By fostering this internal dialogue, she laid the groundwork for a deeper understanding of how her actions affect others. “I found when I practiced the racial literacy skills, I felt less stressed, and was able to interpret the racial dynamics and react in new, more efficient ways. And, I have insight into myself and aspects of my identity that previously confounded me.”
Colleen’s time with Lion’s Story prompted her to reframe racial literacy as an intimate journey of growth rather than a one-sided endeavor of helping others. For professionals that relate to her experience, she encourages a commitment to practice over perfectionism, “ And so I continue to practice my racial literacy skills and keep in community with other people who do, too, because the more I use these skills to understand the layers of all of my identities, the more capability I have to address the intricate layers of systemic racism.’
As many other Black women have reported in our workshops, Erica Snowden, a Diversity Educator & Practitioner and Lion’s Story Racial Literacy Senior Trainer who identifies as a cis-gendered Black Woman, struggled with finding her voice and had a lot of self-talk about the value of her racial & gendered story.
Erica described her journey as “nervscited”, her word for being both nervous and excited. Lion’s Story encourages people to name and scale the intensity of their emotions, even if they have to make up a word for it, “I was thinking about how many people could be impacted by this work that I would now be a part of. I was nervous at a 7. I felt this mostly in my head as I wondered if I was smart enough, skilled enough and if I could keep up.”
The act of mindfully observing your inner dialogue is critical to the development of healthy racial literacy skills. In the true principle of mindfulness, we encourage storytellers to name their self-talk without judgment, and to become curious observers of their thoughts. Once the storyteller notices these thoughts, they are better suited to examine their internal scripts' validity, intensity, and impact on their behaviors. For professionals who are responsible for the care and livelihoods of marginalized individuals, such as educators, law enforcement, or medical staff, this is a skill that many industries still need to acknowledge.
Erica's appraisal of her self-talk demonstrated themes of protection of others, doubt in the value of her story, and fear that her words would not be understood.
“Would my story add to their confirmation bias? Would they reject my story? Would they think my experience would speak for all Black people? Would they take my emotionalism and blanket it as feminine and ‘emotional’? Was I safe to share my emotions, many of which I’ve spent more than half my life hiding? Would value be placed on or taken away from my story because of my gender? I didn’t know if I wanted to crack the hard exterior that I had spent so much time curating”.
Mindful Processing Break: Do any of these statements sound familiar to you? If yes, how intensely do they exist for you? If not, what is your self-talk in response to reading Erica’s?
One of the first narratives Lion’s Story Trainers are asked to explore is their first racial memory. We encourage people to give their stories titles, subtitles, and even hashtags - a practice with several emotional and cognitive benefits. Erica titled her first racial story “Just Pretty,” and the themes of gender and race are inseparable. When reflecting on sharing her story in a professional setting, she emphasized, "I can't tell my story without being authentic.” This authenticity extended to sharing personal photographs depicting her family in a racial encounter that challenged her understanding of black femininity, “I'm reminded of one photo where I am wearing a red velvet dress, with white ruffles and red polka dots. The accessories included were your quintessential white stockings, white ruffled socks, and black patent leather Mary Jane. Of course, the morning was spent under the heat of the stove and hot comb getting my hair pressed.” Having shared her first racial story several times, I witnessed hundreds of people physically respond to Erica’s description of this image - reporting being able to smell the hot comb!
Erica’s photo and story gave her a medium to openly explore the context of her first racial and gendered encounter. Moreover, this story allowed Erica to notice and debate the contrasting mannerisms of her parents. Although focused on others' reactions at first, her self-talk evolved to balance respect for her parents but also be curious about how her parents protected her during a moment of racial bias as a young girl.
Mindful Processing Break: Knowing this, can you revisit Erica’s aforementioned self-talk and reread them? Do you notice any different emotional or physical reactions this time? How is your breathing in this moment? Can you notice your self-talk?
For any woman questioning the value of her story, Erica encourages, “This work will change your life. You’ll learn a skill that will forever be a part of your toolkit while finding its way into your professional and personal life. You won’t be able to turn it off and you will find ways to use it across other identities.’
Lion’s Story aims to build a community of storytellers prepared to tell the stories that define us as individuals and awaken us to our power as agents of change. We believe racial literacy skills will give you the tools to more accurately observe your most stressful or impactful identity-based encounters and make meaning from them. The encounters and stories you hyper-fixate about, dissociate from, or thought you knew so well. By practicing these skills, you will be better suited to answer, “Was that reaction aligned with my values? What are my options? Am I meeting my responsibilities?”.
With the proper skill development and support, you become the author of your story and are better prepared to respond if a similar encounter occurs. This is a critical and ethical skill for professionals tasked with caring for people more vulnerable than them. Moreover, we at Lion’s Story believe that these are critical skills for living a fulfilling life in which you can proclaim your humanity and protect the humanity of others.
These introspective journeys, filled with vulnerable insights, provide us with the data to navigate the intricate layers of intra and interpersonal dynamics essential for confronting the systemic effects of racism.
